Tuesday, March 26, 2013

PLAYGROUND....

this is just me nagging about the world and people and whatever... if you get easily upset and dont like swearing ..THAN PLEASE DONT READ!!

I am just sooo sick of girls with their fancy labeled clothes and lipsticks and what nots... "ohh look at my new lipstick colour"... blah blah.. I mean, I am not writing this to hate every girl who has expensive taste or love their lipsticks.. Its just the ones who sit on their asses.. and mummy and daddy pays for everything and they have achieved nothing in their life but still get ahead because they have rich parents... while I work my ass off to get somewhere I get nothing!!..

 I am trying to get my shop noticed yet i get nothing.. and i see a young 16 year old selling shitty ripped "vintage" items and her shop goes of the roof... why??? because she awesum?? because she has cool friends?? because she is rich?? because she is such a rebel??... I dont get it what am I doing wrong??... do I have to kiss ass to get somewhere?? do I need to sell out!!... I need to hang out with the cool kids?? what is this fucking high school all over again??

Maybe i am jealous??... i am not gona lie YES I AM!!.. I am jealous of their success I am jealous of their holidays and the carefree ways!!... I am jealous that everything falls onto their laps... and I have to work like a dog to get nowhere..

I am 30 now and i seriously feel soooooooooo tired of it all... I just found out I have alopecia and I am stressed to the point of breaking and losing my mind!!... why because I feel like a failure seeing these kids get ahead while I get nowhere!!.. maybe the fault is within me?? I dont know but seriously doesnt anyone feel the same!!??... I mean I cant bring my past everytime..going "oh i had a hard life..."... which I did and i am trying to handle it.. but sometimes just sometimes I fucking blow up!!...

I seen a quote once somewhere "dont take life seriously..think of it like sand under your feet..".. or something like that.. Well I feel like that sand is not under my feet but way above my head and drowning me!!

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